Almeda,

Don't know if you finally heard or called again but I just want to let you know that I don't think it's a failure. It's taking care of your needs. I too challenge myself to stay away as if it were some sort of test of my ultimate control of myself. i don't think that it's so good though, I think it's really a reluctance to be close. I hope you called again, if that's what you need.