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Why is it that I feel like such an idiot calling him? Why?

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I have only called my T once between sessions. I'm just too scared of rejection. Maybe the same for you?

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I feel like I'm not even in therapy anymore

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((((pinksoil)))), I know that must feel so terrible. I am really emotional today, cried all the way to work, and when I read your post, pink, I started envisioning that day when I won't have my T in my life anymore. Sometime in the future I will go see my T and it will be our last session, and I will have to say good-bye. I just started crying, here and now, in my office at work. I'm a basket case. I'm dealing with other good-byes right now, and they are seeping over into T-land, not to mention my work. Got to pull it together...

Sorry to derail, pinksoil, why not try just this once to call him? Just this week call him and see how it goes. Then you can compare how that makes you feel to not doing it. Think of it as an experiment.