I know that when I am in a bad place I can make an excellent case for leaving my husband. And when I am in it I feel like it is always.

I don't think it is just Bipolar. My normie friends and I speak very openly and honestly about our marriages and in the right (or wrong) light any marriage looks horrendous. Every man unbearable (sorry men!).

It sure ain't easy. It is in fact excruciatingly difficult.

But you said that you LOVE him and he LOVES you. You say he is helpful around the house and it seems from your post that he is not emotionally or otherwise abusive. It seems like his biggest sins are the typical male sins of not being that emotionally available or tuned in to you and things like that. And you say he has stood by you! And he has been through your illness and loves you and wants to keep going. That is GOLD. I try not to push my opinion but seriously if.....

You love him
He loves you
He is not abusive
He wants to be with you

Hang on to him!!!! Feed the love. You deserve it.

Try to let go of expectations and cultivate gratitude for what he DOES do and try to enjoy eachother again. Forgive him for not being able to meet all of your needs. When in doubt cry instead of yell. If he is anything like other men I know he probably loves you and wants to protect you and has a hard time watching you suffer and feels helpless to help and that stirs up frustration and shame in him and then he acts out in any number of ways. Being snappy or withdrawn or irritable or defensive.

And whatever you do make sure you don't make any decisions in any state other than baseline normal as cherry pie stable as a pony.

Wait for this mood to pass. Let him hold you.

That was a lot. Sorry if it is annoying to you right now. I just think marriage sucks real bad but is amazingly wonderful and you should fight for what you have.