Thanks for the replies friends <3
I don't know if there are rules against talking about suicide methods?? Sorry if i'm not to say this but [...] While she told me she couldn't get a lift to see me, she told her family (who were meant to be giving her the lift) that i'd cancelled, so it was planned but then she'd also been doing stuff with friends earlier that day and seemed fine. It was a huge shock to all of us. We knew she'd been depressed but things seemed to be improving; she just found her own apartment to rent after dealing with housing instability for about a year (she was living with me cos of that a few months before she died). I keep wondering if she regretted it the split second before she died? Her brother called me which is how we found out she'd lied to us so we'd think each other was the reason she didn't come visit me. ****.
I do think i have some form of survivors guilt, reading those links.
thanks again and i hope this message isn't inappropriate in any way.