Toejam, I agree with you. People absolutely downplay other's symptoms or disregard certain traits. I find this true when I make mention of the stroke I had a few years ago. It causes me at times severe and very annoying memory lapses and inability to recall names of people, places or things. They brush it off by saying, "Oh that happens to me, and I never had a stroke." I want to reply with a curt, "Yes but it doesn't happen to you every 5 minutes, now does it?" Most of the time, I'm cognizant enough to restrain myself from saying anything. But people do minimize or trivialize our concerns! Often times, I think they are doing it to me in an attempt to make me feel better about my lapse and to identify with me, maybe even to take away some of the stigma I feel. And it is true that it happens to everyone from time to time but not all the freaking time. Why can't people just listen? Or find some way to relate? Oh, but that reminds me, we are talking about Asperger's here. We often have trouble relating to people.

Speaking of which, I really related to what you had to say, especially that you're about my same age and trying to wrap your head around this. Aren't we figuring things out a little late in life? I don't know about you, but I'm tired of not living up to my potential. There has to be an answer, and I'm bound and determined to find it. I took the Asperger's quiz today. Scored high, as I knew I would. I've been very familiar with the DSM-IV since I was 22 years old due to my degree and the work I've done. I've lived in denial long enough.

I am similarly going through some issues with employment where I've been "let go" for not fitting in. It's been nothing they can put their finger on specifically but in CO, if they don't like you, they let you go. It's an "at-will" state. I was told that "it's not a good fit" at 3 of my last 5 jobs. The job this spring, administration kept me on but transferred me to a different department. The administration really liked me. I do an excellent job. The ironic thing is that I was working with children, many of whom have autism. Since I was doing an excellent job, meeting all the necessary objectives of my job assignment, I had a great review but was advised to open up more and be myself, be more sociable and relational. However, I find when I do that, I really mess things up by saying awkward things or making others feel awkward, nothing inappropriate but just well I am into very nerdy, scientific stuff, I reckon. I have no idea. I can't figure this out. I really feel stuck in my head unable to see what other people are seeing. And to be honest, some of them are really weird or REALLY trivial, fake, superficial, and mundane, in my opinion. But I keep that opinion to myself and just listen. Oh and I'm too honest, or blunt or lack tact, whatever label various people have given it.

So here I am, 38, started counseling today, trying to get all of this figured out, wondering what am I doing wrong. I didn't realize it in myself until I saw it in my son a few years ago. At that time, I was "let go" from another job for not "fitting in." I think its time to accept the facts. I'm tired of trying so hard to just fit in. I really just want to be myself and not conform to society's ideas of "normal." Really, really tired. I'm sure you know how I feel. Thank you for listening. I appreciated your post.

My big question is if Asperger's and ADD are related. I feel like they are. At least in my case. Any feedback or websites to research would be awesome!