I'm mad at myself for being sick. So angry that it took all these years so that a doc could figure me out..so frustrated that I always knew. Angry and sad because I could no longer do the work I used to do, so went back to school, Anxious because I found a job..a job that is not as interesting or challenging but a job and now after being there for under a year, I've been on sick leave for a month now and..They called me today, I must go in to see an expert doctor for my job soon..one more stress. Angry, worried, feeling so ****** because my mom has many health issues and needs me to be there for her. I feel like a lousy daughter because just walking in with her at the hospital makes me very anxious...because that is where I work and feeling the way I'm feeling I just don't want to run into some people especially my boss or those who will start asking tones of questions. Also since, my meds have changed again..to help me keep calm I'll half to take something to help me calm down and I hope that I'll be able to have a clear mind so I can help mom and not be in a buzz. just thinking I must be able to fall asleep real early to get up early to have time to come out of the fog makes me anxious.