I had an appointment with my therapist today. We talked about moving forward and where I wanted my life to go from here. I told her that I wanted to find a full time job, but that I had to wait for the pot to get out of my system and as I was a daily smoker, that this would take a while. She asked how things went going from smoking daily to not smoking at all. I told her that I didn't have any physical issues when I stopped, but that I wished daily that I didn't have to quit in order to find a job and that since I had stopped smoking, I had begun drinking more often. When I smoked, I very, very rarely drank. I don't like the taste of alcohol and I don't like the way it makes my stomach burn when I drink it. Now, though, I find myself using it instead because it's legal and won't stop me from getting a new job. I don't like getting drunk with people. I didn't ever smoke with anyone, either, except my boyfriend from time to time. I don't like having to pretend that I'm getting effed up to have fun. I just want to be able to have a time where it's easier to lose focus of everything around me. She (my therapist) told me that this was a warning sign. I'm terrified. My mom was an addict for as long as I can remember and she died of an overdose a few years ago. Right now, the alcohol isn't a problem. I'm only drinking maybe once or twice a week and I'm not using any recreational drugs. I can control my intake and stop myself before I get sick. Do I have a reason to be scared? I don't think my therapist knows much about drugs/drinking because she was asking me about the time it took for a drug test to come up clean. I know getting drunk by yourself isn't something to be proud of, but I feel like I'm in control of the situation. It's not affecting any other parts of my life.