Oliveaux,

I am so sorry and hugs to you!

My older brother died by suicide a few years ago. We were very close.

Its a loss like no other. Unless people have been through it, they won't understand fully (although they can be sympathetic, which is kind of them).

It is a shock and its like living in a nightmare. I know no other way to describe it.

I also have had 3 other "indirectly related" suicides in my family. Its just awful.

Hugs to you! The best thing I know to say to you is that as a way to honor your friend (as I honor my brother), be determined never to make the same choice.

(and just know this is from somebody who is sometimes tempted - but fortunately never succumbed to it).