At the time i 'm writing this,i realize it's all over.The last episode left me nearly dead for 5 days.Plus,i can't find a doctor to go.I can't stand it anymore.Now i'm starting to feel detached from reality too.I think i'm losing my mind and i can't find a decent psychiatrician to go.It's the end.I can't find anything to calm me and i feel like i'm locked in a room,a square,black room without colors and i see the outside world from a window,all grey,all black,all dead...