I have had a lot of trouble reconciling the church's stance on divorce and the reality of certain situations (not every church, but many churches). I agree that a separation is probably the best, at least to get out on your own and figure out what you want to do. It is hard to make a decision like this if you are being convinced to stay by others who don't fully understand your situation.

I know that there are some Biblical literalists who would say that the Bible forbids divorce, except in the case of adultery. I have to disagree. I think that if Jesus were here today, he would say that a person's safety and well-being is more important than following someone's interpretation of the Bible. My point is, I don't think you should feel guilty for considering divorce as an option, and you should not be ashamed or feel that you need to explain yourself to anyone. Your personal faith and relationship with God is just that - personal. If you feel strongly both by faith and reason that you should leave your current relationship, I think that is what you should do.