This is my (Reader's Digest verson ) of what happened to me 11 years ago; I still can't heal from it. It was a nightmare; the only mistake I made was naively....going to the pastor.

I was married to a physically (lesser extent) and verbally abusive
"man" for 31 years and naively went to speak with the pastor (of disaster) ….. I ended up educating him, although it was to no avail. I found the courage to get a divorce and then fought the spiritual abuse for 18 months to try and stop the pastor from "counseling" any more women, because two of the women were suicidal (because of his "counseling" skills).

In the end, my name was put up on a big screen in front of the
congregation (3 times and on my birthday, no less), followed by the
words, "Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God." Called to a meeting (16
"men"), not allowed to have a woman with me, and asked "Are you still
having sex with your ex?!" The abuser was never called to a meeting.

I stood in front of the congregation (they did this to me on my
birthday, no less....11 years ago on September 29th) and said, 'Wow, I
didn't think this many people would show up to help me celebrate my birthday...They were grim as a heart attack; I was smiling. Their problem was that I allowed the x to live in my house after the divorce.

I was fortunate to have a therapist who was an expert in spiritual
abuse, journey with me for those 18 months...he taught me the most
valuable words I'd ever heard: "Restorative Justice" This is what
you did, this is how it made me feel. As usual in my life, something positive came out of the situation: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.
com, with over 22,000 hits.

Worse than a lifetime of abuse....is the spiritual abuse; I haven’t been able to heal from it.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life; I have also written (and presented) my paper at the State's Counseling Association (Societys Hidden Pandemic, Verbal Abuse, Precursor to Physical Violence and a Form of Biochemical Assault; if anyone would like a copy........did you know that with verbal abuse alone, that the brain can physically change/!