I am a 31 yr old woman, and pregnant with my first child. My Mom and Sister gained a lot of weight in their pregnancies and I sort of expected this to be the case for me. Prior to getting pregnant I was an average build, but now at 7 months pregnant I am close to 175lbs at 5"3. I'm not shoving twinkies into my face, but I will have a sweet here and there or dessert after dinner.

My husband's libido has dropped off substantially from the onset of my pregnancy. We used to have sex 1-2 times a week and now its maybe 1 time per month. I have communicated to him that my needs are not being met. His response is that he is not attracted to me when I am pregnant. He assures me that he still loves me but that he doesn't find my pregnant body to be attractive.

I have a history of eating disorders. Its a beast I conscientiously keep caged every day. Its so hard not to be hurt or offended by his reaction.

If I initiate oral sex he has no problem getting into it. A few days ago I pressed him hard and told him that I needed to feel loved by him. He initiated sex with me a few hours later, but it felt forced (expectantly) and it was awkward. It was like he just wanted to get it over with. So I can see that he is trying.

1) How do I deal with this? Its hard not to be hurt. To me, attraction and love go hand in hand. I love my husband and when he gains weight my attraction for him remains unphased. I can see his weight gain but cherish him just the same.

2) Pregnancy changes a woman's body, sometimes indefinitely. I have concerns that he is waiting for me to get back in shape to find me attractive. This is upsetting because it would suggest that his love is superficial, if he is always waiting for something there is a chance it will never come.

3) Can someone explain or help me understand the mentality that a husband/expectant father may be experiencing that would associate with not wanting to have sex?

4) Do sexless pregnancies turn into sexless marriages? Realistically speaking, the birth of a child doesn't bring new windows of opportunity for sex. As well, there is some recovery in the immediate weeks following birth.

5) My husband has told me that he has some aversions and hesitancies towards being present at the birth. He doesn't want to see the baby be born. We are having a home birth and he has said that if I give birth in certain rooms, that he will not be able to have sex with me in those rooms in the future because he will be turned off knowing I gave birth there. Is this common?

6) I am concerned that his aversion for me now will leave me resentful post-birth when my body has recovered.

7) Are my expectations too high? How do I deal with feeling rejected by him?