About a month ago, I started SIing again after a few months of being clean. I don't know exactly why I do it, but it makes me feel better, at least for a little bit. Sometimes I do it because I feel like I need to, like it's an addiction, and other times I do it because I'm feeling suicidal, I know I don't have what it takes to do it like that, but I just feel better getting the blade right up next to the vein and pressing, knowing with a little more pressure I could end it. Sometimes I feel distressed and like I'm dealing with too much emotionally and I can't handle it, so again, I give myself a type of pain I know how to deal with, something to take my mind off the real issues in my life.
I don't know if I want to stop, but I know it isn't healthy, and it hurts my girlfriend so much when she finds out.