I think the best thing is for you to leave. I know you are self conscious and might feel like you really love him, and I mean you probably do, otherwise why would you put up with him. I am not going to criticise you for staying with him, but I think for your sake, and for your future to be happier, you need to leave him. If you leave him he cant hurt you or abuse you any more. You need to work on yourself, your self esteem, realising that you are worth more. Yes, he could change, but it could also lead to a vicious cycle of him hurting you then begging. Its just not right. It is your choice what you do but please look after yourself and consider your own wellbeing over your love for him.