Caring is hereditary - you get it from your parents. If you didnt get it - if you got ignored or neglected, it can feel more normal, more natural, more comfortable to continue to neglect yourself. Otherwise honestly it feels like a fight. You ask a very good question. Why should you, if no one else ever did? That question, or the state of affairs that leads to it, should be illegal or unheard of. Its work we have to do just to get to the starting line of where a lot of other people start from. Otoh, hey some people dont even have running water. I try to remind myself, hey 4 families in Russia would be sharing my apartment and be grateful for it.