thanks direction...... i'm not sure i believe that "special man" exists for me..... i've mostly been used and tossed aside by every man i've ever gotten involved with. thats why i don't even bother dating anymore because i know what will happen. guess that's also why i've always had such a special place in my heart for this particular man, he's the only one who never used my weaknesses and lack of self esteem against me somehow. so i just try not to think about it too much.