Yes and no. Yes I'd like the body I'd want, but no with my current male face I would look way better as male than female. I still don't know yet. Also I wouldn't be able to afford it. Even if I wanted to.

The main reason no for now, I can only be who I want through how I would act if I was who I know I was now in my current body. It's more effective I think than doing the surgery itself and trying to do the same with my female body.

As a guy, girls notice me more, but as a woman, I feel that it be harder. I sometimes not sure how much harder, but I can imagine, it's the same struggles cis gendered lesbians go through too. I don't think this is everywhere, but I know it's harder from what I've seen for to have a lesbian relationship in my city, but you have know where to look. I mean I've met more gay males, than lesbians in my city. I don't know why that is here. So if I did do it and still lived here, it would not help at all. I would be turned down a lot more as a female than a male. I want to look convincing and being the me I see, but it would pose some interesting challenges I haven't faced before.

My therapist is very understanding with this, I talk about this with her. She wants me to have surgery and have me transition, but I don't know and don't think it's a good idea practically.