Imagine that your husband was kissing and cuddling with a female co-worker of his. Would you regard that as anything? There is your answer right there. The word "affair" might not be the exact right word, but you do have a relationship with this male co-worker that is becoming increasingly intimate. That's not good for your marriage and it's terrible for your reputation at work. Stuff like this tends to get found out. There is a real chance that your male co-worker will even be the one to spread it around.
Even people who are very happily married are fully capable of "having feelings" toward others outside the marriage. It's then up to the person to decide what to do about it. By all means, get out of your marriage, if you don't want to be with your husband anymore. But don't assume that "having feelings" for a guy means you and that guy could have a great future together. The chances of that being true are, actually, pretty slim.
Here's another little tip I would offer. It's never appropriate for you to tell any male co-worker with marital problems that "I'm here for you." Better to just say, "Gee I'm sorry. That must be rough. I hope you find the right solution." Then change the subject. Lots of couples go through difficult times when they think their marriage is on the rocks, only to find that they end up staying together. People often manage to work things out. They need space to do that and as little kibbitzing from outsiders as possible. No matter what you think you know about this man's marriage, I promise you that you don't know the whole story.
Leave him to take care of his own problems, and you take care of yours. Start by taking care of your reputation. You'll be glad if you do.
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