Oops, I did it again. I've written about my toxic mother before, and recently we went a month without talking bc I was so mad at the things she did and said to me.

After the no talking period, we went back to talking, however, I barely called her and when we would speak on the phone, I would mostly be silent and let her talk and talk. Anyway, I noticed that during each conversation, she would never let the convo go w/out saying something criticizing me. One time it was implying I was selfish, in another she said I was incapable of dogsitting for their dog, and then she also discussed how she knows the next guy I date (I recently broke up with my bf) will be my great teacher, and get all the 'quirks' out of me. Again, the implication was that I was not "perfect" and needed to be "fixed". Recently I was supposed to come home and visit, and she wrote me an email basically saying that if I said anything critical or negative, she would tell me to leave the house. Needless to say, I did not bother visiting.

She said some other things that bothered me. Unfortunately all this stuff festers inside me and I felt the need to say something, so i wrote her a long email about it. I didn't attack her, I explained how I felt about something and said I understand that she is an immigrant and has a different perspective and experience. well, naturally she wrote me back a nasty email, took offensive that I dared to say she doesn't know anything (bc I called her an immigrant), said I was troubled and turbulent and that I needed peace.

I'm not sure exactly what to do here. I know I shouldn't have emailed her but sometimes I get so upset that she says such mean things to me, and i'm supposed to just sit there and take it. If I react, I'm called critical and negative, among other things. I've already limited contact with her, and it's likely since I just had a breakup I'm more sensitive. She said some awful things about my bf (however, that is not the reason we broke up) and I have a hard time getting over all the stuff she said.

I guess i want to know how not to let this stuff bother me, esp when it's my mother. Unfortunately, if i had a friend who did this to me, i would just cut them out. Any ideas???? Help!