fayerody,
gosh, I was having anxiety about responses to my post LOL.

I have seen a therapist off and on for a couple of years, then took most of last year off (moving, fixing up new house, settling kids into new schools, etc), then regrettfully my deductible went way up.

Long story but I picked out a new therapist and saw her five times (she's the one who gave me diagnosis of OCD). The other one just GAD I guess. Then I got this letter last weekend the new therapist is resigning and no way am I going to make the drive where she's moving to.

Today I spent about four hours totally imobile with anxiety - and I had just gotten off the phone with HMO booking appointment with someone new - a five week wait. ugh.

btw, what is IRL, I can't for the life of me think of anything LOL

you know I felt almost normal until my kids started arriving at 10 years of age, (I felt whole as a person up until my folks died), but the anxiety has been horrible since, it's a wierd mixture of being a Motherless Mother, and reflecting on the abusive families I lived with since that time. I've felt empty with nothing to give my kids, as I didn't get it.

anyway, thanks alot for responding, helped me feel cared for.