my mom and i always had a toxic relationship even living in different states. i was never good enough and lived w/criticism and never heard i love you or i'm proud of you. at one time even flew to her state and met w/her and a therapist in order to resolve some conflicts. mom had no boundaries either. thru help of therapist, i set some boundaries, and continued w/my own therapy. mom did not and violated the agreement made by us and therapist.

mom's toxic letters were so upsetting that when i'd go to mailbox i'd get anxious knowing she was about to spew her negativity at me so i learned to just bring pen to mailbox and mark it `return to sender' without ever opening her mail. sometimes letting these people go is the only way to get some relief and i had been seeing a therapist to get some clarity and validation and support as to disconnecting from mom. it's not easy but both parties must want to make changes for anything to be resolved. i've been where you are…and it's painful…but take care of yourself.