I have had similar thoughts, but I know I will be successful. My problem is, how can I do it without it affecting my siblings? I've thought about leaving a note saying I've gone off for some alone time and then going deep into the woods, but I know I would eventually be found.

I do have to say, there did come a point when the pain was so intense none of that mattered. I don't know what made me do it, but fortunately I called my T who had me come in right away. When I got there she said she didn't care what I wanted, she was calling an ambulance. I didn't have it in me to fight her.