The VA nurse did a good job of pointing out to my S/O and his daughter that, if I find the situation unmanageable as it is, then the VA will be calling the family. Then it will be on the family and the VA and APS to place him in a facility. The VA nurse even mentioned how many families at this point in time pitch in financially to hire help for the homecare. (That ain't happening here, but she was highlighting how much I was doing and pointed out that most frail elders don't have a "Rose" to pick up all the slack.) At the end of the meeting, I asked my S/O in front of everyone, "What did you get out of this meeting?" His answer was, "Nothing!" Then I looked at daughter and nurse and said, "Well, now you see how hard he can be to work with." I restated my last resort plan of just leaving town for a few months. So we'll see.

Now I've got 2 hours home in my own place to shower and change to get ready for today's outing. Feels so nice to be home by myself.