If you need to feel something, anything, does it necessarily have to be done in a negative way? Just a thought...I used to think that the only relief out there came from SI but i got into working with animals and felt much better without such a level of introspection. Joy can be just as relieving and furry friends are known for rousing more positive emotions. What would make you feel joyful even if it's just temporarily?

Self harm doesn't work - the fact that we keep doing it proves that much. You're entitled to do whatever you want with your life and your body, but i just hope you find something more reliable.