First off I want to say that I am very quickly running out of the ability to deal with my situation in a positive and appropriate manner. That being said, I guess I need to give background on what it is that is the issue at hand.

My wife and I have been married now ten years; we just celebrated the big 10. Our relationship is great we are best friends and we love each other's company. We have a six year old daughter and a two year old son, and our family is pretty content with life for the most part.

Our issue is that outside of the clinical experience of getting pregnant with our children there is little to no intimacy in our relationship, and my wife seems to be just fine with that.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not the ultra sensitive wear my feelings on my sleeve kind of guy but I do and am capable of expressing affection, love and admiration with the best of them. I am a former Marine and I tend to not complain about things much as I know from experience that there are serious issues in this world that need to be complained about. That being said I do not keep my feelings from my wife and we have had numerous discussions about the issue over the years. All have gone the same way and now have become like a broken record, I detail out my concern for the lack of intimacy in our relationship and she agrees and says she will work on being more intimate with me. Now I am not just referencing sexual intimacy I am referring to the slightest level of intimacy.

When I met my wife, I had just gotten over a 2 year divorce and began dating again, she was a younger, open minded young woman who I found myself drawn to with a good upbringing and came from a pastor father and devoted mother who enjoyed over 50 years of marriage themselves. She was at the time I met her inexperienced in relationships never having had any long term relationships, but in many ways she knew more than I did with all of my experience put together. She created a wonderful relationship with my twin girls from my first marriage and continues to maintain that to this day. All in all she was perfect. (I know there is no such thing.) She wife had saved her virginity for the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with so when our relationship started going that direction I treated it with care to insure I didn't do anything to change her ideas about the physical side of love.

Fast forward to now and ten years later and the physical intimacy have not grown in her at all, she still shows no sign of interest in common intimacy nor any level of passionate intimacy within our relationship. She reads romance novels and speaks of intimacy and when we have our talks, she expresses that she wants intimacy but she is either not being honest with me or herself or incapable of intimacy.

She has no reaction to my attempts to hold her hand as an example, there is no pulling away but there is no feeling of acceptance either. It is like she has to consciously force herself to respond then letting me hold her hand. As far as love making goes I can't tell you how much the rejection has taken a toll on me. I am not use to being rejected and I am really struggling with it at this point. The reasons why she doesn't want to have gone from hostility to there is a TV. show she would rather watch. Or it just isn't a covenant time. I hear "I am tired" a lot as well. It is just wearing me out to the point where I do not even bring it up anymore. I don't give up easy either.

My wife will not initiate any form of intimacy nor will she participate so we have just gone without it in our marriage. I have also noticed other things as well that have me concerned. Example, her tendency to naturally like and express more of a masculine personality. She is 5ft. 6 in. and I am 6ft. 1in. but you would think she was a former Marine if you were to listen to her stance on social issues and numerous comments about everyday events. Example her tendency to like men’s color options in fashion and footwear over the female options we see in stores. No again she does not present herself as a gender confused individual but her personality is not dainty to say the least. This does not intimidate me in the least but it also doesn't lend itself to a romantic woman / partner either.

I keep hoping and praying that she will get in touch with her passionate side but I am running out of hope. We have discussed therapy and she does not give any indication that she would be open to that, I know that she would never allow a sexual surrogate and an affair is not an option as I do not want that in my relationship.

I don't know at this point in my life what to do I do not want to leave her over my selfish desires but I am becoming more unable to live with the current situation as it stands right now.

I am at a loss; I don't know whether to pull a tactical retreat or to assault through. I just know that I can't remain happy this way, not to be crude but I miss being with a woman.

I don't want to resent her for her inability to be intimate but I am losing my resolve.

Help!