That's really insightful and poignant. Everybody has to discover these things on their own unfortunately because psychiatrists and psychologists won't do the prying and analysis that should aid in helping people along with their issues. They get paid for analysis, psychotherapy but they don't do it. I've only run across one psychiatrist over the last 30 yrs (in a metropolitan area, nonetheless) that was willing to ask me about the dynamics in my daily life, to discuss the past in some detail and not be judgmental, as well.