You are right there, very lonely. My boss has made it plain he doesn't want me back at work and keeps giving me jobs below my grade. I just know he will use it against me, this is despite my employers having mental health awareness days and generally saying all the right things.

Try and focus on the things that go right, and be prepared to fake it based on past success. If you can talk something up then it might just divert attention from the things you think aren't going well.

Are you perhaps judging yourself too hard (due to the depression) and seeing failure that others might not even notice? My boss didn't have a clue until the day I rang in sick, he'd noticed stuff but didn't bother joining the dots because he was too wrapped up in himself and his vision. I think that is why he is so intolerant now, I might spoil his plan for world domination and I have certainly shown him up as being no good on staff welfare.

I don't really believe in myself right now and I messed up today. I'm just hoping that it slips through the net. Maybe I don't have any convincing answers for either of us, I guess we just have to ride it out.