I am diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder and have been really struggling a lot lately with some extreme paranoia. My big things are that I feel people can read my mind or know what I'm thinking. A lot of times I have this terrible anxiety and I think horrible things. I always say it's almost like a form of mental turrets.

Then I take it a step further and think everyone is going to turn on me and like one day I'll show up somewhere and everyone I know will be there and they'll all join together to torture and kill me for some of the scary/unreal thoughts I have. Like something out of a horror movie about someone who is unwittingly part of some horrible plot against them.

I also wonder if I'm under some sort of mind control or if I've been brainwashed into thinking things that aren't real or at best very irrational. I have generalized anxiety disorder as well so anxiety and the bipolar disorder can feel like a double-whammy.

Things are actually going quite well with me. All the people I meet are so nice, people tell me they love me, but I can't even enjoy that for the thoughts that they're all pretending to be nice to me, but secretly they're all "in on it" and they're all discussing me behind my back.

I'm fairly functional and I keep all these thoughts to myself. But it's just so bad lately. I've talked some to my therapist about these things, but some of these thoughts are relatively new, so i haven't talked to her about them yet. I even thing that she's part of the conspiracy and when this awful ritual-like meeting happens, she might even be the head of it all! Like all these people secretly know each other and they're all being nice, but plotting against me. It's just awful.

Does anyone one else out there ever have this kind of paranoia/anxiety?

Thanks. I'm new hear. Sorry for this long post!