Was looking at a Pema Chodron book today. THe chapter called "Hopelessness and Death" caught my eye:

Hopelessness and Death
If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity
and pain can be exterminated, then we can have
the courage to relax with the groundlessness of
our situation. This is the first step on the path.
Turning your mind toward the dharma does not bring security or confirmation. Turning your mind toward the dharma
does not bring any ground to stand on. In fact, when your
mind turns toward the dharma, you fearlessly acknowledge
impermanence and change and begin to get the knack of
hopelessness.
In Tibetan there's an interesting word: ye tang che. The ye
part means "totally, completely," and the rest of it means
"exhausted." Altogether, ye tang che means totally tired out.
We might say "totally fed up." It describes an experience of
complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope. This is
an important point. This is the beginning of the beginning.
Without giving up hope-that there's somewhere better to
be, that there's someone better to be-we will never relax
with where we are or who we are.

Maybe this relates to what I've been feeling. Well, it does relate. But what is the way forward? I suppose that's discussed elsewhere in the book.