My heart goes out to you. I feel the same way. I am totally lost and not quite sure how people "do" life. The only life I've known has been based on delusions and hallucinations. I was very into basing every decision I made on these delusions and hallucinations under the belief that I was somehow getting messages from a spiritual source. When I say I made every decision this way I do mean EVERY decision. Now, I realize that most of that wasn't real. I'm not quite sure what to do with reality. I guess that I don't have any real advice. Therapy has helped me a lot though. However, I still have a long way to go.