not much more i can add, but if parents have the `expectation' of your coming there for the holidays, i imagine you will soon be having the `dread' of going there and that will begin shortly. maybe you should take your friends' invitation and begin the disconnect using t'giving as the beginning…it won't be easy as you will probably tell parents you don't want to spend a holiday fighting or being criticized and that you choose to surround yourself w/serenity and happiness, feelings you don't get from them. yes, i'm being blunt but again, i've been where you are…i was in therapy and had therapist supporting me as disconnecting/stepping back is hard and once you change your position in the family and not allow criticism, you become the bad child and parents rarely accept accountability/responsibility but would rather blame….find some strong supportive people in your life or if you can afford therapy, this is as good an issue to bring to therapy as any. good luck.