I'm in a situation where I am probably getting a new roommate. She moved in temporarily a few weeks ago at the request of me and my T to help with my ed/eating schedule (T thought I needed closer monitoring, it was this or social workers). Now we're thinking about making it longer term because she wants to get out of her current, rather tense living situation. I would love for this to happen, I usually prefer living alone and have hated previous times I've lived with roommates even if the people themselves were pretty cool. I would enjoy the ongoing help with my ed (which I definitely need) and find her company very soothing and enjoyable.

But there is a potentially confounding factor in that I have very strong feelings for her. We had a close intimate/sexual relationship earlier this year (I wouldn't call it dating, but it was pretty close), she's the one that called it off and I still feel very emotionally attracted to her. I worry that my feelings for her will get in the way of our friendship, especially if we start living together long-term, I'm also afraid that I might have an ulterior motive in asking her to stay that I'm not admitting to myself. I know she doesn't reciprocate my feelings and I don't expect anything of her but sometimes I get hopeful... it's kind of stupid and I wish I wouldn't.

The strangest thing about the situation is: there's only one bed. I got the place on the assumption that I was going to be living alone, there's only one bedroom and no place for a second bed. The bed is large enough for two and we've both been sleeping in it, even cuddling occasionally. I know she doesn't mean anything by it as far as romance/intimacy, she was married for eight years and has difficulty falling asleep by herself, and from what she's told me this level of affection is more "friendly" to her than anything. It confuses my brain a little because this is most of what I want from her re: my attraction, so I feel like we're getting very different things out of the act.

I might be making a mountain out of a molehill here. She has encouraged me to be as open as I'm comfortable with about my feelings towards her, and says she's not uncomfortable with it as long as I recognize that she doesn't feel the same way. But over the past couple weeks, the way that she's been helping me and caring for me, the feelings are just getting stronger. I'd just hate to hurt my friendship with her just because I can't get over a stupid crush.