thanks- yep, I talked it out with my therapist and we discussed a game plan for the future. Minimize contact when I do see them and brace myself for some stress. You're very right, my mother would rather blame me instead of looking inward. It's my fault, I'm argumentative, etc. It will just be something to work on moving forward, that I MUST realize that it's her and not me. I think I can get there but it will take some time.