I am so sorry to read this. Enjoy your children. Find something (several somethings) that you always wanted to do or places to go and DO IT. Begin to find who you are and what you want to do. DO NOT take any calls or communications from him. From what you write, he will manipulate you to advance his own agenda. Where would he be without all you have done for him for almost three decades? I know how cold this is (I am desperately trying to grasp this in my own separation) that in the end...they can do what they want. He can lie, he can say and do whatever he wants, he can leave and stop talking to you and there is nothing we can do! Immerse yourself in you...and get EVERYTHING!