I've been told that I need to forgive myself before I can move on. One of things I need to forgive is the way I acted when I was manic. I scared people. My family, friends, random people on the street. My family are the easiest because my father is bipolar, too, and their fear was mainly for my safety. The people I can't forgive myself for are the friends and random people who saw my crazy and freaked out - with every reason. They called others, my family/the cops/my ex, to come get me. I'm horrified and I cringe every time I think about it. How do you forgive yourself for becoming a monster? I can't even bring myself to talk to them. I wonder if I've run into anyone who saw me and if they mutter to their friends about what they saw. What about the people I used to know who just couldn't handle it? What do they say about me? I was angry and delusional and crazy and I proved that everyday for months.