I'm very tired and can't sleep much and dealing with pain. I also was a smoker since 14 yrs old, always quit in between for years at a time but go back when things stress me out. I haven't had one since yesterday first thing.... I'm getting very irritable and very tired, I'd love a coffee and smoke right now.
I don't want to waste money on it anymore, because it does add up and it takes away from money I should save for my son, since his dad is nothing but a deadbeat jerk (too nice of a word)...
I want to move and do things and I can't now. Somehow it puts things in perspective whicch has distracted me from all the other reasons to be depressed, but now |I'm getting antsy to do something. More like, wondering what life will be like with limited mobility.

This is a stupid time to quit smoking because my sister is coming and we don't get along. My sister in law is on the other hand is a beautiful non judgmental person, but she notices I always had my psychiatric breakdowns whenever my sister came to visit. She interfered in my life ever since before my first son was born. She makes it look like she has no mental problems, buloney, I almost feel sorry for her putting up a big show for the rest of the world at times, when underneath she can't be much happier, I can just tell.
She just makes me nervous, anxious, as soon as she gets a bossy tone although we've never fought physically (other than one memory), she has a very strong "I know everything and look down upon you" attitude. I usually just agree with her or keep quiet. Thank goodness she isn't staying long.