It sounds like this is something you have given a valid effort towards 'fixing'. You've clearly articulated what you need from her and she hasn't responded the way you have hoped.
I'm curious to know how she has received your feelings and what might be going on in her head.
At the ten year mark it might be time to think about going to see a qualified sex counsellor. It sounds like it might be an area where a professional might be beneficial.
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