Thanks for your responses.

I am more than willing to consider that the reasoning is likely because he has issues with me being a baby maker at the moment.

The only thing that makes me assume that there is more to it is that at 4 months preggo when I started to put on a bit of weight he made a comment about my increase of cellulite turning him off. And then in the following conversations we've had he has said point blank that he doesn't find my pregnant body attractive. Which gives rise to all those other concerns I listed above.....

I completely understand why he might be turned off... 25 lbs of weight gain on a 5'3 frame is a big deal. But I kind of hoped that he would see the bigger picture that this is something that is happening because I am carrying his child and find some beauty in me for giving life to something he has created. (perhaps naive women's perspective) So I totally appreciate his honesty with me and his willingness to tell me more than once that he simply doesn't find me attractive at the moment. It at least allows me to know where he is at, as opposed to assuming and letting my mind consider other ideas.

For some reason I see 'my wife has a baby inside of her" and "my wife's body is a turn off" as two separate things... but I know that human sexuality is not so easily disentangled.

And thank you sophiesmom for making mention of not building this to be something that its not in the post partum phase. I have concerns about how all of this will feel post partum when my body is still in the unattractive zone and I'm now dealing with a human being that is relying heavily on me for their survival.

I want my wishes for the birth to be as important as my hubby's since I'm the one forcing a watermelon out of my lady parts so I think I am going to stick with the home birth (excepting a complication which would send me to the hospital). But I've decided that (in spite of the feminist inside me that "says that my biology is not repulsive and deal with it mister I'm birthing YOUR child that you COCREATED with me") I will do my best and respect his feelings/perspective give him the option of choosing for himself whether or not he wants to be present at the birth. I understand that this is something entirely new for him and that he is entitled to react the way that feels natural for him and have the feelings that he is having.