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mommaxo · Oct 30, 2014, 03:15 PM

here are the following steps I have taken to achieve my sobriety:

realizing there are a lot of people/places/things/memories that could possibly trigger me. It got so bad at one point that even drinking dark pop, or listening to upbeat dance music made me want a mixed drink, or go out and party.

I have learned that I had to change my group of friends. Only associate with people who would support my sobriety, and who wouldn't constantly ask me to go out drinking after so many times of me having to say "no, sorry I'm tired" or "no sorry I don't drink anymore". Another thing is make it well known in your circle of friends, that you don't drink, or have any interest in drinking. if they respect you, and your friendship they won't bother asking everytime their about to hit the beer store, or make plans to drink around you. I still have close friends who are heavy drinkers and sometimes don't have much to talk about other than the "Crazy night they had last friday night"

I had to keep myself busy. If I laid around and did nothing all day, I would go insane. I had to get out of the house. go to the mall, treat myself to some new clothes/makeup/etc, or cleaning/organizing my room. even going for a walk, or calling a friend/family member helped. The weekends were the worst. Going downtown everyone was carrying liquor bottles, the bars were busy, drunk people sprawled out on the streets. I realized there were a lot of places I had to avoid going near (especially if I was walking around downtown with money in my pockets) I still feel more comfortable at the moment avoiding downtown at night at all costs.

my baby: I started looking at the consquences of my baby coming out with medical issues. miscarriage. was alcohol really worth it? what did i love more?
would i be able to live in regret, and shame if something did go wrong? how would i even deal with that? drink more? and feel crappier ? I pictured holding my baby in my arms, and her/him smiling back at me. I pictured myself as a mother. I pictured my little peanut looking up to me in my belly.

It also helped to think of all the extra money I was going to have now that I planned to quit drinking. I blew so much money every paycheck just to deal with a horrible hangover, and have one night of fun. I ended up not being able to buy things I really needed/wanted. Making a list (wishlist) and actually being able to afford the things I wanted was an awesome feeling.

I also book appointments with an addictions counsellor, and will be attending A.A meetings soon. It helps to have one on one, as well as a group of people you can relate to, and get support from.

I personally used to drink to deal with stress, as long with past trauma. So I have recently been coming to terms with everything in my past, and trying to move on, and try to come up with new ways to deal with stress/anger. Baking/Cleaning when I'm angry, or stressed helps me. Writing also helps. (I'm able to vent and get it all out without feeling judged - Journal, Blog) Instead of bottling it all In.

A gym membership Is always a great thing to have as well.
Exercise helps with stress, depression, anger, etc.
and overall health physically.

It helped for me to realize how much alcohol has damaged my life, and possibly mine/my baby's health. I looked at all the times alcohol has put me in horrible situations, all the relationships/friendships that ended over alcohol, All the times I have embrassed myself, or woke up confused. , I looked at how it affected my school/work/family. It helped to put it all down on a list. (The things I do remember anyways) so I can have it all infront of me. I looked at my goals. (was alcohol going to help me achieve these goals? or was it pulling me further away?)

It is so important to "take it one day at a time" (the good ol' AA motto) and try not to overwhelm yourself. be proud of every day you remain sober. relaspe is so common in users. try not to beat yourself up too hard over it , but never give up!

I hope this helps someone else who has been having a hard time staying sober, or finding ways to cope with sobriety. I haven't been having a ball this entire time, but I am however starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The benefits of sobriety have started to take affect on me. I'm starting to look/feel healthier, & I'm a lot more productive. hopefully you'll end up wih similar results.

I hope everyone manages to stay sober, atleast for today
if not, there's always tomorrow to start over again