Quote:
Originally Posted by jjishere
Hi:
Wow. I am treatment refractory also. I tried it all for over 30 years now and nothing helps. It is really bad and I thought I was the only one in the world with this. I wish we had a real board for treatement resistant depression for those of us who have to live without the benefit of help. It is a real b****. I am looking for online support to help me get through this major depression and the h**** that it is. Otherwise ... I just don't know anymore.
Is anyone out there who has been going through it for ages and ages and suffers. I am totally scared. I used to have episdoes and breaks. Then 2 and one half years ago, just one long horrible depression, homebound, almost bedbound (hard to even shower) ashamed and feel hopeless.
Even docs hav given up on me.
Now to the new people: There are SSRI's, there are the older classes of drugs call tricylcis and there are even MAOI's ... don't know much about that one but it works differently than the others. As to ECT, it is not as bad as people think. You really need to get evaluated for that. Of course, try everything else first. I did.
Take care. If anyone can relate to my post ... I hope you post.
JJ
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Hello jjishere: Yes, I can sort-of relate to your post. I'm in my mid-60's & can't remember a time when I wasn't depressed. I recall my mother once mentioning that, when I was born, my head was turned in the wrong direction. So the doctor had to turn it back into the correct position. So, it has occurred to me on numerous occasions that I came out wrong to begin with; & things haven't improved with time.
But then I also have other issues besides depression including anxiety, Gender Identity Disorder, some OCD-like behaviors, self harm & suicidality, to name a few...
My experience has been a bit different though in that, no matter how bad things have gotten for me, I've nearly always been able to get up, clean up & do what needed to be done that day, for the most part. I didn't necessarily do them well. But I did them.
One of the things I find most perturbing about my situation is, it all started at such a young age for me, I'll never know what caused it. It's a snarl of tangled wire that will never be straightened out. And I also know I'll never be "cured". I've tried the med's, the therapy, etc. I'll carry this burden to my grave, so to speak. There is some comfort in that. I've reached a point where I can sit back & just be mentally ill & not feel like I have to keep fighting. There's some comfort in that. Best wishes!
