on another note, last Monday I got hit with something I could not name. while I have felt this way before, it was never so strong as to make me take notice before. all I knew was I didn't like feeling that way.
apprehensive, tremors, nausea, shortness of breath, etcetera.
my normal life has me feeling that way from time to time, but not strong enough to really feel it. I might notice the shakes and leave it at that.
well last Monday it was literally strong enough that I was unable to function when I was in DBT group, and Diagnostics group. I had to ask the therapist leading the DBT group what was I feeling. I had to be told that I was having an extreme anxiety attack. since then I have noticed it happening more often. probably because now I know what it is I may be able to recognize it more.
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why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet!
The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE,
the guy who always laughed STOPPED,
the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP,
he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore"
then collapsed and gave up the ghost.