Hi there -- I'm certainly no expert on relationships, and it sounds like you need someone -- such as a couples counselor -- who can help you to work through this. Although you may feel as if you can't afford it, there are sliding scale places, usually supported by the United Way, so try calling there for a list. Hopefully, you can find someplace on a bus route.

Even if your bf will not go, go by yourself. You are the one reaching out for help to get clarity, and you deserve to find that help.

Best wishes for working this out in a happy way for both of you.