Hey.
Aside from the blank out stuff, it could be dissociation, but it sounds like conflicts. Conflicts are a huge them in psychoanalytic therapy (the kind i'm in). Conflicts, i think, can manifest on a scale ranging from dichotomy to dissociation.
Dichotomy I guess is like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. You are aware of the 2 opposing themes. Dissociation, on the other hand, can be where the angel or the devil takes you over and you cannot control it and/or you are unaware of it. Sometimes you might be aware of the other ego state, but other times, like in DID, you might have amnesia about the other ego state when it inhabitates/takes over your self.
So many people have conficts, but it can be extreme like in dissociation. Some people can lean towards one or the other. Sometimes it takes years to realize you have a dissociated ego state. When it surfaces, it can be scary. I didn't realize I had these until after starting intense psychotherapy.
Not sure if that helped, but hope it does somewhat. Take care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolartist
I'm always scared to death of myself and everyone. Just my thoughts, I would never do anything crazy. But it's like something inside me wants to get me in trouble, so I'm terrified at all times that I'll get into some kind of trouble.
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p.s. Amandalouise should be coming along any moment now to explain things better than I did. haha