Jbug, sorry you're having such a hard time. Doesn't sound like you were dependent on the rubber snake :-) I'd use such encounters to write about them, what was wrong with them and what I would have preferred. That might give you a better feeling for how you are actually doing well at taking care of yourself; you know what you "want" and what is helpful. I would only take the "dependent" part so far -- it's nice to hear another person's voice and know they're there. I use to look my T and Myself up in the phone book when she was away just so I'd know we both "existed" :-) I finally realized after many years that daily contact with "someone" (and radio or TV didn't work) was useful to me, that if I went to the local convenience store and had a little "chat" with the clerk (I had convenience stores I frequented long/often enough so I got to recognize/"know" the clerks and they me) or to the library and just asked the reference librarian a question, etc. that was hugely helpful to me. I don't feel there's anything bad about needing people, daily, and I think it's great your T is helpful in that way. But if I were you, I'd play around with other people and talking to them (like you did with the rubber snake :-) and see if you can't find others that won't be "practical" in a "useful" sense but will be contact and communication and comfort and "there" for you in a sense as your own made up group so you don't feel like it's all being decided by your T and handed down.