I did the same thing with my meds. I was on them for over a year and just got so tired of taking them just uped and quit everything one day. About 3-4 months of no meds things got really bad again and I knew I needed to be back on something again. I have been on at least 10 different meds before I found one that really worked for me. So now I'm back on a med that works. But I still have the same fear of the weight gain. I've been in recovery from anorxia for 10 years now and had never been over weight in my life till I started taking meds. I had to say to myself that the med was more important then the weight gain. Well and being able to work and function is another reason to stay on the med. You just have to just keep trying different meds till you find the one that works best for you. I had the same problem with prozac and zoloft. But for me Lexapro has been the best.

Just keep trying different meds till you find the right one. Sounds like you do need something. Good Luck