Don't beat yourself up too bad. What if you were a guy in the similar situation without ssdi relying on a parent.

My last job, the owner knew me because I had worked at his company once before and left on good terms. So, I was very fortunate, because I think they overlooked some of my crap at times until it got out of hand.

Something that bothers me deeply now is my oldest brother. His daughter graduated last year with a psychology degree and has recently started to work at a mental health facility. Twice now he's told me the same story about phone calls she gets and the problems/discussions they have. He's told her that if she continues to work there/in that field, that she will always be dealing with low life people.

I guess he has never thought about that being a direct blow to my head, as I am receiving treatment from the exact same type of facility. That doesn't bother me. I don't care if society thinks that way of me. It does bother me how my brother feels about me.