Hi Appalachian, despite what you've said I kind of worry that you might get hurt in this if feelings come into play e.g. if for her it's a bit more about helping you and for you it turns into developing real feelings for her which aren't two-way.
But you're pretty smart , so just saying if you could really watch out for the potential of that happening??
And maybe "desensitization"/gradually safely overcoming the fear of/anxiety over........might help, keeping talking with your T about it might point to if it might help you as/if it goes along.
And if you carry on maybe go at your own pace, same "routine", but just taking it a step/two steps (??) further if you're comfortable, each time???
And maybe keep going on working on where/why your value system has come from??? And if it's actually portraying your individuality or something else???
I just get the feeling that you wouldn't be seeing someone else orgasming with someone, loosing their virginity as any sort of a possible issue for them, in any way???
And hey, if you're worrying about what you've done/what you're doing is "shameful", then hopefully the fact that we aren't judging you on that will help with the self-acceptance just a bit??
Just for me, try not to get hurt, hey??!!
Alison