I spend pretty much all my available time watching stuff, playing video games and reading. Even at work, because I have free alone time between tasks. I've always been aware that it's to escape the reality I don't like. Thing is, that by comparison, it still seems better to just deny the crappy existence I'm stuck in and focus on something more interesting.
The realization, that doing this isn't helping in any way to improve my odds of making my life something worth living in, doesn't seem to be motivating enough. In fact, there doesn't appear to be anything to strive for that i could possibly attain. I just see impenetrable walls between me and anything I might want and I'm stuck in the resulting box.
Just tried to air out some frustration. /Rant