I don't know. Sometimes I over think things... I've had a lot of time to question my parents as people. My mom pulls away from me regularly...it's not just a bad day thing.
I don't want to offend anyone by exploring these thoughts. I'm not an expert or even that knowledgeable about this sort of thing. And yes, my mother did provide emotional support when I was younger that many people are deprived of.
What I'm trying to do is understand my individual situation. My mother and I have issues that I"d like to understand. I also have a lot of repressed anger towards her.
I know that some of it is from the divorce. But I think a lot of it has to do with how we interact, and how she chooses to show or withhold affection.
Maybe she's not even choosing. She grew up in a family that was grieving, but repressing any kind of real discussion. So she may not know how to be more open and genuine with how she feels, or intuitive as to how her kids feel.
She probably doesn't want to imagine that any of her children could be capable of what her brother did. So she doesn't pry, nor does she realize that pretending such feelings don't exist is the root of the problem.