This is more of a rant.

I wasn't sure where to put this, if this is wrongly placed I am sorry.

Anyway,
I'm struggling with injuring personal areas of my body. I have been feeling so disgusted with myself. I think my disgust of my body comes from past sexual abuse.
I feel horrible. I hate my sex so much I just wish I could cut it all off my body, everything that makes me a girl, I want to get rid of. I just want to be genderless. I don't want anything to do with being a girl.

I have struggled with self harm in the last including biting (so hard that I break the skin), cutting and I've flirted with burning but lately...
[Triggering]

I did this a few years ago where I took a pair of scissors and actually tried to cut off my genitals. It just frustrated me so much and now I really want to get a pair of scissors and finish the job. I hate myself so much.
I have been cutting my breasts, again, because I hate them so much.

I just don't want to be a girl. I don't want to be a sexual being, I don't want to be anything.

Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way? I just want to know I'm not batshit, you know?